April Ministry Moment - Beginning a new phase in our RIC journey

For the last year and a half, Trinity’s Welcoming and Inclusion Team, as part of the ELCA’s Reconciling In Christ program, has been leading our faith community on a journey to see, name, celebrate, and advocate for people of all races, abilities, sexual orientations, gender identities, and gender expressions. 

We are now entering a new phase of our journey as a faith community, where we will be walking in tandem with the visioning process that Trinity began in January. To kick off this next phase, we’d like to invite each of you to a new monthly faith study and discussion group called “Faith, Friends, and Fellowship.” There will be coffee, snacks, and informal discussion about topics that help us explore who we are, where we’ve come from, and who we are called to be in our greater community.

We will meet on the second Sunday of each month, immediately after service, in the church library. Our first Faith, Friends, & Fellowship group will meet on Sunday, April 14th. We plan to read and discuss each of the scriptures that you all recently submitted via the “Who Is Trinity” survey and talk about how we feel they represent our Trinity faith community and our goals for the future.

As Lutherans, we believe that God values and embraces each person as a beloved child, that the Spirit gives a diversity of gifts for the common good, and that Jesus Christ calls us to work for justice. As Pastor Tina preached to us on Palm Sunday, let us not be prisoners of hope. Let us be Christ’s warriors of the change he calls us to be in this world. I hope to see you next week, or in the months to come, at our new discussion group.

Faith, Friends, and Fellowship

Second Sundays, after service

Church Library

Coffee, snacks, discussion!

What scripture passages or Bible stories do you think best describe our faith community at Trinity Lutheran Church?	Scripture Reference	Scripture Text
Ethiopian Eunich	Acts 8: 26-39	Philip and the Ethiopian Eunuch 26 Then an angel of the Lord said to Philip, “Get up and go toward the south to the road that goes down from Jerusalem to Gaza.” (This is a wilderness road.) 27 So he got up and went. Now there was an Ethiopian eunuch, a court official of the Candace, the queen of the Ethiopians, in charge of her entire treasury. He had come to Jerusalem to worship 28 and was returning home; seated in his chariot, he was reading the prophet Isaiah. 29 Then the Spirit said to Philip, “Go over to this chariot and join it.” 30 So Philip ran up to it and heard him reading the prophet Isaiah. He asked, “Do you understand what you are reading?” 31 He replied, “How can I, unless someone guides me?” And he invited Philip to get in and sit beside him. 32 Now the passage of the scripture that he was reading was this: “Like a sheep he was led to the slaughter, and like a lamb silent before its shearer, so he does not open his mouth. 33 In his humiliation justice was denied him. Who can describe his generation? For his life is taken away from the earth.” 34 The eunuch asked Philip, “About whom, may I ask you, does the prophet say this, about himself or about someone else?” 35 Then Philip began to speak, and starting with this scripture he proclaimed to him the good news about Jesus. 36 As they were going along the road, they came to some water, and the eunuch said, “Look, here is water! What is to prevent me from being baptized?” 38 He commanded the chariot to stop, and both of them, Philip and the eunuch, went down into the water, and Philip baptized him. 39 When they came up out of the water, the Spirit of the Lord snatched Philip away; the eunuch saw him no more and went on his way rejoicing.
40 years in the desert (staying together in times of adversity)	Deuteronomy 8: 1-20	A Warning Not to Forget God in Prosperity 1 “The entire commandment that I command you today you must diligently observe, so that you may live and increase and go in and occupy the land that the Lord promised on oath to your ancestors. 2 Remember the long way that the Lord your God has led you these forty years in the wilderness, in order to humble you, testing you to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commandments. 3 He humbled you by letting you hunger, then by feeding you with manna, with which neither you nor your ancestors were acquainted, in order to make you understand that one does not live by bread alone but by every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord. 4 The clothes on your back did not wear out, and your feet did not swell these forty years. 5 Know, then, in your heart that, as a parent disciplines a child, so the Lord your God disciplines you. 6 Therefore keep the commandments of the Lord your God by walking in his ways and by fearing him. 7 For the Lord your God is bringing you into a good land, a land with flowing streams, with springs and underground waters welling up in valleys and hills, 8 a land of wheat and barley, of vines and fig trees and pomegranates, a land of olive oil and honey, 9 a land where you may eat bread without scarcity, where you will lack nothing, a land whose stones are iron and from whose hills you may mine copper. 10 You shall eat your fill and bless the Lord your God for the good land that he has given you. 11 “Take care that you do not forget the Lord your God by failing to keep his commandments, his ordinances, and his statutes that I am commanding you today. 12 When you have eaten your fill and have built fine houses and live in them 13 and when your herds and flocks have multiplied and your silver and gold is multiplied and all that you have is multiplied, 14 then do not exalt yourself, forgetting the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery, 15 who led you through the great and terrible wilderness, an arid wasteland with poisonous[a] snakes and scorpions. He made water flow for you from flint rock. 16 He fed you in the wilderness with manna that your ancestors did not know, to humble you and to test you and in the end to do you good. 17 Do not say to yourself, ‘My power and the might of my own hand have gotten me this wealth.’ 18 But remember the Lord your God, for it is he who gives you power to get wealth, so that he may confirm his covenant that he swore to your ancestors, as he is doing today. 19 If you do forget the Lord your God and follow other gods to serve and worship them, I solemnly warn you today that you shall surely perish. 20 Like the nations that the Lord is destroying before you, so shall you perish, because you would not obey the voice of the Lord your God.
Galatians 3:28 NIV	Galatians 3:28 NIV	28 There is no longer Jew or Greek; there is no longer slave or free; there is no longer male and female, for all of you are one in Christ Jesus.
John 1 - In the beginning was the light.. I vividly remember Pastor Chip reading this on Christmas Eve and at the end of the reading it was midnight and the end of the service and he said Merry Christmas. It reminds me that it all began with Light and the Word… we as Trinity are that light and that word.	John 1: 1-5	The Word Became Flesh 1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2 He was in the beginning with God. 3 All things came into being through him, and without him not one thing came into being. What has come into being 4 in him was life, and the life was the light of all people. 5 The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not overtake it.
The woman at the well	John 4: 7-30	7 A Samaritan woman came to draw water, and Jesus said to her, “Give me a drink.” 8 (His disciples had gone to the city to buy food.) 9 The Samaritan woman said to him, “How is it that you, a Jew, ask a drink of me, a woman of Samaria?” (Jews do not share things in common with Samaritans.)[a] 10 Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God and who it is that is saying to you, ‘Give me a drink,’ you would have asked him, and he would have given you living water.” 11 The woman said to him, “Sir,[b] you have no bucket, and the well is deep. Where do you get that living water? 12 Are you greater than our ancestor Jacob, who gave us the well and with his sons and his flocks drank from it?” 13 Jesus said to her, “Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, 14 but those who drink of the water that I will give them will never be thirsty. The water that I will give will become in them a spring of water gushing up to eternal life.” 15 The woman said to him, “Sir,[c] give me this water, so that I may never be thirsty or have to keep coming here to draw water.” 16 Jesus said to her, “Go, call your husband, and come back.” 17 The woman answered him, “I have no husband.” Jesus said to her, “You are right in saying, ‘I have no husband,’ 18 for you have had five husbands, and the one you have now is not your husband. What you have said is true!” 19 The woman said to him, “Sir,[d] I see that you are a prophet. 20 Our ancestors worshiped on this mountain, but you[e] say that the place where people must worship is in Jerusalem.” 21 Jesus said to her, “Woman, believe me, the hour is coming when you[f] will worship the Father neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem. 22 You[g] worship what you[h] do not know; we worship what we know, for salvation is from the Jews. 23 But the hour is coming and is now here when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for the Father seeks such as these to worship him. 24 God is spirit, and those who worship him must worship in spirit and truth.” 25 The woman said to him, “I know that Messiah is coming” (who is called Christ). “When he comes, he will proclaim all things to us.” 26 Jesus said to her, “I am he,[i] the one who is speaking to you.” 27 Just then his disciples came. They were astonished that he was speaking with a woman, but no one said, “What do you want?” or, “Why are you speaking with her?” 28 Then the woman left her water jar and went back to the city. She said to the people, 29 “Come and see a man who told me everything I have ever done! He cannot be the Messiah,[j] can he?” 30 They left the city and were on their way to him.
The Good Samaritan Parable	Luke 10: 30-37	30 Jesus replied, “A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho and fell into the hands of robbers, who stripped him, beat him, and took off, leaving him half dead. 31 Now by chance a priest was going down that road, and when he saw him he passed by on the other side. 32 So likewise a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. 33 But a Samaritan while traveling came upon him, and when he saw him he was moved with compassion. 34 He went to him and bandaged his wounds, treating them with oil and wine. Then he put him on his own animal, brought him to an inn, and took care of him. 35 The next day he took out two denarii, gave them to the innkeeper, and said, ‘Take care of him, and when I come back I will repay you whatever more you spend.’ 36 Which of these three, do you think, was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of the robbers?” 37 He said, “The one who showed him mercy.” Jesus said to him, “Go and do likewise.”
The Good Samaritan- The unclean Samaritan "broke" the cultural rules and cared for the robbed and beaten Jew in the ditch by the road, even when the respected Jews walked on by. I'd like to think that the Trinity community follows the Gospel's Golden Rule and helps others, even those society turns their backs on.	Luke 10: 30-37
Feeding of the many with fish and loaves	Matthew 14: 13-21 Mark 6: 30-44	Feeding the Five Thousand 13 Now when Jesus heard this, he withdrew from there in a boat to a deserted place by himself. But when the crowds heard it, they followed him on foot from the towns. 14 When he went ashore, he saw a great crowd, and he had compassion for them and cured their sick. 15 When it was evening, the disciples came to him and said, “This is a deserted place, and the hour is now late; send the crowds away so that they may go into the villages and buy food for themselves.” 16 Jesus said to them, “They need not go away; you give them something to eat.” 17 They replied, “We have nothing here but five loaves and two fish.” 18 And he said, “Bring them here to me.” 19 Then he ordered the crowds to sit down on the grass. Taking the five loaves and the two fish, he looked up to heaven and blessed and broke the loaves and gave them to the disciples, and the disciples gave them to the crowds. 20 And all ate and were filled, and they took up what was left over of the broken pieces, twelve baskets full. 21 And those who ate were about five thousand men, besides women and children.
Matthew 18: 19-20 - "For where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there among them."	Matthew 18: 19-20	19 Again, truly I tell you, if two of you agree on earth about anything you ask, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. 20 For where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there among them.”
Love one another	Matthew 22: 34-39	The Greatest Commandment 34 When the Pharisees heard that he had silenced the Sadducees, they gathered together, 35 and one of them, an expert in the law, asked him a question to test him. 36 “Teacher, which commandment in the law is the greatest?” 37 He said to him, “ ‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ 38 This is the greatest and first commandment. 39 And a second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ 40 On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets.”
Matthew 22:39 - "...you shall love your neighbor as yourself."	Matthew 22: 34-39
"Love one another." I think the members of the Trinity family for the most part, do a great job of loving and supporting each other; and I think that, through projects like the Thrive garden, the red food box, and the RIC initiative, we're getting better at spreading that love and care beyond the walls of the building and beyond our members.	Matthew 22:39
Sermon on the mount	Matthew 5: 1-12 (The Beatitudes)	The Beatitudes 5 When Jesus[a] saw the crowds, he went up the mountain, and after he sat down, his disciples came to him. 2 And he began to speak and taught them, saying: 3 “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. 4 “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. 5 “Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. 6 “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. 7 “Blessed are the merciful, for they will receive mercy. 8 “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. 9 “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. 10 “Blessed are those who are persecuted for the sake of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. 11 “Blessed are you when people revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely[b] on my account. 12 Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.
Romans 12: 4-5 "Now as we have many parts in one body, and all the parts do not have the same function, in the same way we who are many are the one body in christ and individually members of one another."	Romans 12: 1-8	The New Life in Christ 12 I appeal to you therefore, brothers and sisters, on the basis of God’s mercy, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your reasonable act of worship. 2 Do not be conformed to this age, but be transformed by the renewing of the mind, so that you may discern what is the will of God—what is good and acceptable and perfect. 3 For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of yourself more highly than you ought to think but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned. 4 For as in one body we have many members and not all the members have the same function, 5 so we, who are many, are one body in Christ, and individually we are members one of another. 6 We have gifts that differ according to the grace given to us: prophecy, in proportion to faith; 7 ministry, in ministering; the teacher, in teaching; 8 the encourager, in encouragement; the giver, in sincerity; the leader, in diligence; the compassionate, in cheerfulness.
Romans 15:7 NIV	Romans 15:7 NIV	The Gospel for Jews and Gentiles Alike 7 Welcome one another, therefore, just as Christ has welcomed you, for the glory of God.

February Ministry Moment: Who Is TLC? - a brief history

RIC Ministry Moment for February 25, 2024.

During our recent visioning session with Pastor John Wertz, those in attendance shared their experiences and perceptions about Trinity.

To provide some context for our reflections about who we are as Trinity Lutheran Congregation, and how we envision our future, the RIC Team thought it would be fascinating to explore Trinity’s Roots. Who better to help with this endeavor, than the Archives Committee.

This brief history of Trinity’s first 74 years was made possible with the enthusiastic support of Sandy Cobb, Judy Hunt, Anne and Cliff Obara. We found that they welcome questions about our history!

Trinity’s Roots

In 1881, under the leadership of Collis P. Huntington, the C&O Railway was completed. This “modern” transportation connected the coal reserves of West Virginia to Newport News, thus opening foreign trade to our port. Among the new residents arriving from abroad were a few North Germans and a few Scandinavians who were sailors par excellence of the world, and, also Lutherans.

In 1887 Collis P Huntington founded the shipyard, and people seeking work from the Valley of Virginia, and from Pennsylvania, added to the number of local Lutherans.

In 1898 Trinity Lutheran congregation was organized, as a mission of the Virginia Lutheran Synod. Trinity had 30 members. As a Lutheran Church in non-Lutheran territory, Trinity’s history was one of struggle to keep pace with the other denominational groups that were more indigenous in this community. A quote written in 1939 explained: “While the congregation is forty years old, it is one of the younger, if not the youngest, of the denominational groups in Newport News. It has such a polyglot membership that it has been necessary for it to spend much of it time and energy integrating its own members. In a survey of the congregational roll we find people of almost every national origin, and members from almost all the major groups of Christians. These have had their own ideas about the church life, depending upon their origins. But withal, each in his own way has made some valuable contribution to the life of the congregation. Thus, Trinity Lutheran Church becomes both a center of Christian culture and an Americanizing force for those who enter its membership.”

In 1939 the church interior was conducive to worship and beautiful. However, one of the great needs of Trinity was a more suitable building for the Sunday School and better location with reference to the residences of the members. The membership at that time was: 250 confirmed members and more than 100 in the Sunday School. These members’ residences were scattered throughout the Peninsula from Williamsburg to the lower end of the territory. (Daily Press) So the congregation set out to buy property, hire an architect, and build a new church and Sunday School building.

In 1954, (15 years later) the congregation was attending consecration services in a splendid new red brick building on a most imposing site—the triangle of land at 68th Street between Huntington Ave. and River Road. At this time this land was in Warwick County. The site, as described in the Daily Press: “seemed predestined to provide an unusually attractive setting for the steepled house of worship.” By the way, the total cost for the building was estimated at $240,000.

Six years after moving to this site, Trinity embarked upon another innovation. Shortly after the arrival of Pastor Elmer Bosserman, Trinity opened a day school for children. The hope at that time was to begin with Preschool and Kindergarten, and then to expand the school eventually to include the sixth grade, following the standard curriculum approved by the state. Pastor Elmer Bosserman said the school was “just another function of the church and is not slanted to denominational religious teaching. ...We do have morning devotions, and on Friday mornings I conduct a chapel service, but we are careful always to take a general approach that cannot be offensive to anyone. After all, we are happy to have Catholic and Jewish children among our students.”

On February 1, 1960, Trinity Day School held its first classes from 9 a.m. ‘til 12 Noon. Students were Pre-K Ages 3 – 4 1⁄2 years, and Kindergarten ages 5 and 6 years. Tuition was $15/month. There were 29 students and two college trained teachers. Student transportation was furnished by Trinity Guild Ladies. After summer break, First grade was added in the Fall of 1960.

In 1964 Pastor Elmer Bosserman was asked how funds had been raised for the church, its expansion, and the purchase of two adjacent residences. He replied: “It was raised by faith, which is the greatest strength of Trinity’s congregation. This is the only church in the Virginia Synod to follow what is known as the Grace Movement. There are no pledges. Giving is based entirely on the concept of free will. Our annual budget is always made on faith—we invariably have the money we need and a little more, without asking for pledges or sending out statements or reminders. I am deeply inspired by the Grace Movement which only asks that people follow their consciences in giving according to how God has prospered them. Faith allows us to go ahead within reason—it is Trinity’s warm spot.”

By 1972 (12 years amer its opening), Trinity Lutheran School had 435 students in grades Preschool through seven.

- - - - - - - -

So here, in a nutshell, is 74 years of Trinity’s history. You may have nooced that there is a historical gap of 50+ years from the end of this history unol today. That’s where YOU contribute to the story of Trinity. So, we invite you to consider the quesoon: Who is Trinity Lutheran Church? We suspect that the answers will be as varied as we are, and that’s why it is important that each of US shares.

We are handing out a brief quesoonnaire in worship this morning. If you are worshiping by FaceBook, Sharon will send a copy this week through Constant Comment to everyone on that list. Once completed, we ask that you submit your responses electronically or that you put your hard copy responses in the offering plate, or in any RIC boxes at the church entrances.

We will compile all responses and give you a summary of who our Trinity Lutheran Community is in 2024!. Thank you!

January Ministry Moment: "Your Questions Answered" segment

Question received:

What is the official stance of the Lutheran governing body over Trinity on welcoming and including LGBTQ people in the Lutheran faith? The questioner wanted to know if this is a Trinity-specific quest, or if we are one of a larger body of churches all working toward the same goals.

(Full question text: What is the official stance of the Lutheran governing body/bodies over Trinity on LGBTQ people being welcomed and included in the Lutheran faith? Specifically, do they condone or require all Lutheran churches to perform same sex marriages, baptize LGBTQ persons, and allow them all the same rights and sacraments afforded to non-LGBTQ members? I'm supportive of this RIC process but I wonder if we are going beyond what the Lutheran church says should be the standard, not only in our state but in our country and in the world. I want to know if I belong to a religious affiliation that is truly trying to become "radically welcoming" in these areas that the RIC committee says we are working towards, not just at Trinity. When I hear about other churches breaking away from their affiliations because of divergent views on various ideological topics (Methodists, Episcopals, Catholics, etc), I wonder where we fall on that spectrum?)

Response:

The best way to answer the first part of this question, if the RIC process is a part of the ELCA, is to give you a little background on Reconciling Works, who are the main, governing body of the RIC process for congregations. Reconciling Works was founded in 1974, with their full name being Reconciling Works: Lutherans for Full Participation. When the ELCA was founded in 1988, Reconciling Works became one of our partners in working towards full inclusion of all of God’s children, and it has been a partner with us ever since, with the goal and vision of “liberating those who are forced to live on the margins, to keep dismantling barriers and building bridges, and to keep working until all of God’s beloved have equity.” Reconciling in Christ reaches out to people in all communities, seeking to make God's house truly open and welcoming to all. RIC encompasses gender, racial equality, poverty, immigration, and the indigenous community, as well as the LGBTQ community. Long story short, RIC is a part of who the ELCA is, and has been from it’s very foundation.

Now, this is not to say that the ELCA hasn’t been through its own journey, similar to other denominations, particularly when it comes to the welcome and inclusion of our LGBTQIA+ siblings. When it comes to our sacramental life, communion and baptism, we were founded on the principle of an open table. All, all are welcome to share in God’s grace given through our sacraments. However, it took us a little bit longer to journey down the path of inclusion when it came to our non-sacramental life, things like marriage and ordination. In 2009, the ELCA approved the Faith and Sexuality social statement which was our first step in becoming a welcoming and affirming denomination. With the advent of this statement, the door of ordination was opened to LGBTQIA+ folks who felt a calling from God, people like my sister who thought they could never pursue their calling because of who they loved. From that moment on, ELCA pastors were also given the authority to bless and perform marriages of all forms. The hope would be that they would inform their congregations of all ceremonies performed so that the congregation could also join in the welcoming and acceptance of this gift, but ultimately the decision lie with the pastor of the weddings they would participate in.

From 2009 on, the RIC process has become a hallmark of ELCA churches and institutions around the country.

Groups of God’s children proclaiming that they want to openly commit to being welcoming and affirming to all of their siblings. So no, we are most definitely not alone, nationally or locally.

As of right now, there are 1,055 communities in the United States with an RIC designation, including 5 of our 7 ELCA seminaries, 50 campus ministries, and 2 Lutheran colleges. There are 303 communities, just like us in the midst of the process as we speak.

And if you’re wondering...well maybe that’s just on a national scale, you need look no further than the Peninsula itself to find partners in this process. Our siblings at Apostles in Gloucester and St. Andrew’s in Portsmouth have both achieved RIC status, and our siblings at St. Paul’s in Hampton and First in Norfolk are in the process just like us.

Now, if you want to explore more on your own, you can always navigate to the reconciling works homepage: reconcilingworks.org—their home page lists the most recent partners in the RIC process. The homepage statement reads in part: “You are not alone. Supporters of LGBTQIA+ people and families are not the minority in our Lutheran church, but are the growing majority.”

We know there have been a lot of questions about process and timeline, and RIC fully embraces the Lutheran mentality of gray areas because the RIC process is without a timeline. It is a process that allows for education and conversation with the whole community so that we can walk alongside each other and reach this point of welcome and affirmation together. We acknowledge that it takes time. There is an end goal toward which we are working, and when the time comes, we will vote as a congregation on becoming the next RIC church. We are focused in this current, dedicated way because we are in the process. Once completed, RIC will become part of our identity as a congregation. This is not something that we go through and never speak of again. This is a process of Trinity becoming something new.

We are all on the journey of following Jesus' commandments. None of us are at the end of that journey-we are just working on different areas, and this is one area on which Trinity is focusing at this time.

Year in Review: Your RIC Team at Work

 Below, find a version of the form that was distributed at church on Sunday, highlighting what the RIC team has done this past year.  We look forward to doing even more in the coming year as we continue this journey.  All are welcome to join our team and we are excited about where we're going and what we are doing for our congregation and the folks in our local, and wider, communities.

 

The form read as follows (edited to remove personally identifying information):

With thanks that our congregation is on this journey together, the RIC team would like to share a brief overview of what we accomplished during the past year. We continue to work together on a journey toward boldly and loudly welcoming all of our siblings in Christ.

December of 2022:

• Described the RIC process to the congregation

• Reintroduced everyone to what RIC is all about

• Introduced the question and answer boxes and outline for Ministry Moments

February of 2023-Black History Month:

• Outlined the history of several important Black figures in Lutheran history

• Shared a brief history of the oldest Lutheran church

March:

• Mindfulness activity-recall a time you felt different or excluded

• Reflection activity

April:

• Overview of terminology

May:

• Responses to comments from the question and answer box

• Addressed question regarding sex-ed

June-Pride Month:

• Viewing of the documentary Disclosure

• Discussion forum on texts frequently cited from Scripture to support exclusion of LGBTQIA+ siblings and how those texts are misinterpreted or used out of context

• Guest Pastor

• Rainbow potluck and tie-dye event

July:

• Prideful Moments

August:

• Prom (the musical) at local theater

September:

• Critical appraisal of Prom, with awards

October:

• I Am From poem activity introduced during Ministry moment and continued at the church's annual picnic

November:

• Phil's talk: Growing Up Gay and Isolated

As always, you may contact us using the RIC email, using the anonymous question and answer boxes located around the church, or you can speak to any of the Core Team members. We are honored to lead our church on this journey and hope our work continues to be that of God's hands in the world.

Your RIC Core Team,

Tricia, Sarah, Pastor T, Sue, Wendy, Susan, Phil, Kathy

Please feel free to tear off this portion and use it to record any questions, comments, concerns, or praise you have for the Core Team. You may leave these in one of our RIC boxes, or use the anonymous online form  available soon on the church website.  If you wish, you may give them to one of the Core Team members. We welcome and value your feedback, and are available to chat in person, via phone, text, or email. Find our blog at https://becomingmorewelcomingtrinitynn.blogspot.com.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Name (optional) __________________________

Everyone is welcome to join the RIC team. Our next meeting is December 17 after worship/bell choir.

Nov 12th Ministry Moment: "Growing Up Gay and Isolated"

November 12^th Ministry Moment: "Growing Up Gay and Isolated"

 

"For those of you who don’t know me, my name is Phil and I am left-handed. 10 percent of the population is left-handed. Could those lefties that are here today lift up their left hands to indicate to the congregation the frequency of left-handedness? 500 years ago, left-handedness was considered unnatural and evil, and possibly caused by demonic possession. In fact, the word sinister is derived from the Latin word for left, whereas dexterous is derived from the Latin work for right. Even as late as the 20th century, children were having their wrists rapped by their teachers for writing with their left hand. Things have improved for lefties, with the exceptions of being able to share a baseball glove, writing in a spiral-wound notebook, or eating with a ‘righty’ sitting to one’s left. Besides being left-handed, I am gay. Once again this is approximately 10 percent of the population. Unlike being a leftie, being gay is still considered unnatural and evil by many and causes gay people to be “in the closet” about their gayness. What I am going try and explain is what it was like growing up gay and in the closet.

 

I am the fourth of eight siblings. My siblings and I grew up as thin but athletic nerds, with a tendency for overachievement. Since the oldest four were generally a grade apart, that meant that to the teachers, each following child was prejudiced to meet or exceed the skills or talents of the previous child to be considered living up to their potential. Unfortunately, I also had a speech impediment through second grade – I had a lisp. I also did not have the best eye-hand coordination and was seen as a klutz. I saw all these things of making me different from my peers, and not in a good way. As I grew older, I felt I was different from my peers in another way. I couldn’t give it a name until I was in the fifth grade, at which point I figured out that I was gay. Growing up in the age before the internet, finding reading material discussing homosexuality was limited to the library, and the year I figured out I was gay was the first year the American Psychiatric Association determined that homosexuality was no longer considered a mental illness. This caused there to be little information that was available providing any positive outlook. In TV and film at that time, gay characters were either an exaggerated stereotype befitting of ridicule or a sinister serial killer and either of them had to be dispatched by the end of the show. Since being gay was considered by much of the population to be “sick” and “abnormal”, I kept my mouth shut about my feelings. This included keeping my mouth shut around my family and friends, as I had no idea how they would react if I were to come out. As I entered adolescence, the energy that my siblings and peers placed into dating and romance I applied to classwork and after-school activities. I kept a full calendar of after-school activities including marching band, pep band, jazz band, cross-county, wrestling, Spanish club, National Honor Society, and interscholastic quiz bowl. Still being a bit of a nerd and not dating like my peers, I was more than a few times a subject of ridicule. Regularly being the subject of ridicule taught me to grow a thick skin and not show the hurt I felt. In fact, to blunt the attacks, I used self-deprecating humor to beat my ‘attackers’ to the punch. In conversations with grandparents, aunts, and uncles there were many long periods of embarrassing silence when asked if I was dating anyone. When I left for college, I chose a small school, a total of 300 men in a class, smaller than my class of 400 in high school, with an outstanding reputation in engineering. Yes, I said 300 MEN, as it was one of five colleges in the US that were not yet co-ed. And engineering students were not the most accepting of gay people. However, college life was on the whole better than high school.

 

I was free of siblings to be compared to in the way of academic performance. I was still not dating, but once again, I was able to direct that energy towards schoolwork and extra-curricular activities, such as Residence Hall Association, Student Activities Board, Pep Band, College Bowl, and Catholic Youth Group, and tutoring. All this time I remained silent of my sexual orientation and remained celibate, as I found out much later after graduation that most other gay classmates did. I started to date women my senior year in college. I thought that my only option to be a success was to appear like my straight friends. I was seen as quiet, polite boy who was interested in what his date had to say – what is considered in current parlance “a gay best friend”. I graduated college and came to work at Newport News Shipbuilding. I worked alternating shifts as a nuclear test engineer. Since I was not dating, I was willing to work overtime that peers were not as willing to work. I would work several months straight without a day off.

 

In my time by myself, I began to feel depressed and alone (a general feeling that came and went as I was growing up, thus the reason to keep busy and not be alone). In my free time, I purchased a personal computer to build up my skills on what I thought was going to be technologically the way of the future. In my search to maintain and improve my computing skills, I subscribed to a national computer system called CompuServe, which was basically a industrial sized computer bulletin board, as there still was no internet. This bulletin board had “channels” people to discuss with the channels’ members their hobbies and passions, such as computer programming, gardening, board games, etc. I discovered a channel dedicated to gay men. I sat silent there reading the conversations that were going on and realized I was not as isolated as I thought. After a few weeks lurking on the channel, I came out to others there.

It was the first time I indicated to anyone that I was gay. Members were welcoming and considerate. Many were there as I was, discussing their background and reaching out to the community. After about two months, I found a few people who were local to the Peninsula area, and one offered to take me on my first gay outing (as an acquaintance, not a date), to a gay bar in Richmond. The same night I was preparing to go out to Richmond, I found a man online who at the time was living near my parents in the Chicago area and that we had similar interests in history, humor, trains, and general outlook on life. I continued logging in in the days and weeks following our initial online meeting, looking forward to continuing our conversations. This expanded to hours-long phone conversations (before the days of free long distance).

 

This man and I decided to meet in Florida. It was January, and I didn’t want to discourage him with January in Newport News, and I didn’t think it was smart to meet him where the still closeted Phil might be spotted with an unidentified man. Our meeting would be the first time we would see what the other looked like, as personal computers at the time did not have the capability to send and receive photographs. This was my first date; my first romance. This is when I met Ed, who is still my only romance. We have been together since 1986. Since I met Ed and we decided to be together, I thought it was the proper time to come out to my parents, as I wanted Ed to be treated the same as my siblings’ partners. Fortunately, Ed and I were accepted by our parents and my family refers to us as the most stable and normal couple among my siblings. There are challenges about living as an openly gay person, but that is for another time. What I want you to get out of my story is that as a gay child and adolescent, I often felt alone with nobody to turn to about how I was feeling. Unlike a child of a race, ethnic, or religious background different from the majority of the population, the gay child does not have a parent who had undergone similar experiences while growing up. The gay child cannot assume their parents will be understanding or supportive. In fact, it is not unusual for gay adolescents who are found by their parents to be gay to be kicked out of their homes. A child knows that they are gay without having been in a relationship or being in love with someone. Gay Pride should be called Gay Courage, as celebrating pride is not that one is proud to be gay, but they were willing to tell others that they are gay and can live their true lives instead of living a life generally devoid of connection, love, and affection.

 

I spent my childhood and adolescence not knowing if I would be accepted or rejected. Growing up should be just that, growing up. A gay child is always questioning if and where they belong, all this analyzing occurring alone in the child’s mind. Gay children grow up always worried to be found out, always scared to be kicked out. They may hear negative and hurtful things told them by their families, their teachers, their church, their political leaders. Gay children read books, watch shows, and hear songs of love and affection through their childhood, but they do not see themselves in these books, shows, and songs. We live in a culture that says diversity is good, but then on the other hand, culture likes to point out the “others” who are not like “us”. This is mirrored in a line from George Orwell’s Animal Farm, “All animals are created equal, but some more equal than others.”

 

Parents feel their child may become gay due to exposure in culture. I knew I was gay at a young age. I learned about traditional gender norms from culture. That didn’t make me straight. My sexual orientation did not change due to this exposure even though at the time I felt the only way to survive was to “turn straight”, including praying to God to turn me straight. Unfortunately, a gay person cannot turn themselves straight, they can only isolate themselves from gay experiences, but still have the knowledge they are gay. A good number of homeless adolescents are gay. I believe there is a statistic that one in four gay children attempt suicide, brought on by the feeling they are isolated from their family and community. Parents need to externally show their children that they are accepting of gay people, that they do not recoil when they see same-sex couples holding hands or hugging in public. Love and affection are universal, and children of all ages are exposed to this in society without being exposed to “S-E-X”. Parents should not expect their child to know that they love their child unconditionally; they need to tell them. This will allow the child to see their parent as an ally and not a possible antagonist."

I am from...

Getting to know one another is a powerful tool in helping us understand where we each come from and why we form the opinions we have about our world around us. When we truly take the time to listen to one another, we find ways to connect through our similarities and differences.

Challenge: fill out this "I am from..." poem for yourself. Ask someone else to fill it out for themselves and then share your poems with each other. Notice what similarities and differences you have and what new information you learn about each other. If you want to take the challenge one step further, choose someone you don't know that well to do this activity with.

“Prideful Moments”

 

RIC “Prideful Moments” August 6, 2023

I don’t know about you, but somehow when we get to August, I hear myself and others saying “where did the summer go?” Radio ads are promoting back to school supply purchases and it feels like a lifetime since June; but this past June was not like previous ones, because our Reconciling in Christ team sponsored five activities and for those who might not have been able to attend, I did a recap interview of some who did attend just to share their thoughts:

On June 8^th, there was a showing of the film Disclosure – a story showing Hollywood’s depiction of transgender people and the impact it has had both on this community and the broader American culture. One participant shared that it was an honest look at how transgender individuals were portrayed in early movies which contributed to stereotypes that followed. It was educational as well, and very well presented.

On June 18^th, Pastor T led a discussion of understanding scripture and our LBGTQIA plus neighbors – starting first with a slide show and then an open discussion starting with the Old Testament and looking at both how some passages can be interpreted while also putting them into the context of the events that were occurring at the same time for additional perspectives.

June 22 was just plain fun – a Rainbow Potluck and Tie dye event – who knew how simple crafts and good food can create an atmosphere of just the joy of being together?

The sermon for June 25^th was one that made an impression on the people I spoke with who attended – [Transcript available to members in the church library or speak to Pastor T]

And on June 26^th, a book group that had been reading the story Intersex hosted a viewing of the documentary Stories of Intersex and Faith and the author of the book was also there to answer questions. Again, it was very educational about how early decisions made for people before they have a chance to make the decision for themselves can create a lifetime of impact.

June was a month to be open for learning and we hope that all who participated came away with a new sense of community. Thank you!